I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
