There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
