So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
