FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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