if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
