my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
