Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm at about main and main street
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
