my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
