I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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