WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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