Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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