so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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