remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
