There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
