If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
