that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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