dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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