Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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