Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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