I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
