the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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