I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
