He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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