So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
