mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
