we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
