I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
