Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
