I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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