and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
