Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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