I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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