do herpes really smell.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
