We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
