your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Non-Jews are for practice
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
