U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
id be glad to
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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