An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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