i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
