it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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