Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
