I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
