btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
a search helicopter?!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have fence marks all over my body
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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