Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
