bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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