OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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