Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
