Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
