I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
