Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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