Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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