But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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