You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
